Nice Surprises

I am not insensitive to the fact that my colleagues meant to have a surprise party for me within a hour from now. Unfortunately, I shall not be surprise because of several reasons:

1. They had to tell me something was up today to make sure I do not go out for lunch with my usual lunch buddy, as we are in the habit of doing on Fridays. It was quite a surprise for them to find out yesterday that my lunch buddy (also my colleague) did not pick up the hint to stay in and even went as far as suggesting going to a nearby shopping centre for lunch and window shopping. Anyway, I was asked to relinquish this plan and stay in.

2. The two main organisers of the event were young girls (Ahem! Women. But, they will remain girls to me till whenever they stop being so obviously younger and girlish compared to me.) who could not maintain the veil of discretion. Even their inviting of other colleagues in our department to chat online (myself excluded, naturally) about the forthcoming event was not very hushed up.

3. The two girls mentioned before sit adjacent to me and their talk is usually audible to me.


Still... I shall be mightily touched. I thought that the big cake for me last week in the department was quite delicious and enough. I did not expect more.

My colleagues are really rather nice and fun. Also, not having 'Hatsumomo' (Thorn) in the celebration previously helped. I wonder if it would be so this time since it is going to take place during lunchtime.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour after the above entry, the whole secret (if it was meant to be a secret) is completely gone. My other colleagues are complaining of hunger while doing their work and wondering where the two organisers were. Those two should have been back by now seeing that they left shortly after 11am. Well, we are indeed in the heart of the city and it is very prone to traffic congestion around this time.

Meanwhile, people are discussing where to put the food and cake. They even joke about calling to tell the organisers to cancel the plan and let everyone go out.

Reading Pleasures

I have gotten my fiction reading enthusiam back after my determination to finish one book ('Pride & Prejudice'), the first in a somewhat long time for me. After that, I was looking up more information about Jane Austen's books and my interest was piqued by the following introduction for 'Persuasion':

"Anne Elliot, heroine of Austen's last novel, did something we can all relate to: Long ago, she let the love of her life get away. In this case, she had allowed herself to be persuaded by a trusted family friend that the young man she loved wasn't an adequate match, social stationwise, and that Anne could do better."
http://www.online-literature.com/austen/persuasion/

I was drawn to find out more about the story since it was not as well-known as the other book of hers that I considered reading next ('Sense & Sensibility'). How can Austen's fine heroine be as silly as the rest of us? To be sure, Anne Elliot is not Elizabeth Bennet, but she is still lovely. Events took their natural courses throughout the story rather than be affected by jarring interruptions and changes. It was a pleasant read.

I recalled being very well affected by a BBC mini-series (I do love those!) based on Elizabeth Gaskell's 'Wives & Daughters', so I have started reading it and am still going through it very slowly due to my other commitments. I had a wonderful laugh at how Mr Gibson behaves, especially upon discovering that one of his apprentices was about to profess love for his daughter. Are men and fathers like that still around? Very charming and witty! In those senses, Gaskell seems to be superior to Austen. What a shame she did not live to finish this book, though I know that the bulk of it was done before she passed away.

I am really tempted to read yet another acclaimed book by Gaskell, which is 'North & South', but I am also interested in reading Orwell's '1984'. It's been ages since I have read Orwell. My good friend once told me that if she met someone with a mind like Orwell's, the rest of him did not matter for she will gladly marry him. This was the effect of a summer reading many of Orwell's books. I shall see if I have similar urges once I have gone through a few more of his works. I suppose they have to be in quick succession of each other to cause any yearning of the kind.

I have delved into classics and find it hard to extricate myself now. Orwell seems almost too modern and racy, sort of like Steinback. Perhaps I should seek a slower change in the form of a move from feminine classics to more masculine ones. Hey, I have yet to read Victor Hugo's 'Les Miserables' even though I am an ardent fan of the musical based on it, so that is a great possibility...

Well, work is piling high and my trading sleeping time for reading (plus doing bits of reading over dinner, a few lines during short intervals, etc) is robbing me of my consciousness. I need rest somehow but I cannot possibly stop. At the present, I care a great deal for Molly Gibson's world (in 'Wives & Daughters') and love to journey with her.

News

Is this what the interpreter of my career lot meant?

I have a piece of happy news to keep me happy enough over my long weekend, delivered to me by my boss this morning. It seemed as if she half-expected me to be against it and was glad that my answer was otherwise.


"So, you are willing to take up the challenge?"

(Do I shrink from challenges? Wait... lets check for thorns, especially one that I loathe...)

"Who will I be working with?"

(Caution and prudence)

"Initially you will be assisted by... We will be recruiting more. What do you think of her?"

(Thorn-free? I guess.)

"I have talked to her before. I find her agreeable."

"You find her agreeable. Good."

(Just keep The Thorn away from me and you will find me with full dedication.)

Tit For Tat

Where is that stone edict (refer to the post of prior months) for all to view and repent? How many lives are to be wasted in order for people to reflect and learn? I just cannot understand it and would have cared less about it if it did not concern innocent lives.

Please tell me what is proven by the following examples:

1. Someone accuses you of being a murderer and you murder that person in rage

2. Someone accuses you of being incapable of completing the job and you abandon the project in anger

3. Someone accuses you of being a terrorist and you terrorise in retaliation

My humble opinion is that, yes, people may not be correct to accuse you. But, you are proving them that you are as bad, if not worse, than what they thought you to be. Maybe you are more in the wrong then they?

Maybe the best way to react to someone's accusation is to just show what is the truth. If your actions show that their's is the truth, then there is nothing else for me to say.

These are only my humble personal opinions.

Leave Approved!

I waited long and hard for almost a month. Finally my both my leave applications got approved simulaneously by my two superiors yesterday. Yeah! One is for next Monday so I may extend my weekend since it is the 15th day of the Lunar New Year this Sunday. My mum and I plan to travel to meet my dad and we may go for a short trip and possible have a small gathering with friends. The other is going to be for my birthday. I am NOT going to sit facing the computer and have packed dinner on my birthday so I submitted my application as early as the beginning of January. My bosses were very "iffy" about it considering it is going to be at a busy time. Well, out of good will and favorable forecast, approval was granted and my boss IM me to wish me a happy trip.

If There Is a Will...

It was very merry and festive at midnight. People of the Hokkien descent welcomed in the 9th day of the Lunar calendar and I am happy for them. There was the lively sound of drums and cymbals accompanying the lion dance leading up to midnight. I could hear them from my place on the 17th floor but could not see them for they were between many rows of shops belonging to Chinese business people. There was a countdown and many long rows of firecrackers were lit simultaneously. Yes, I know they are banned for reasons of safety. But you just cannot stop the Chinese, especially if they are of the Hokkien decent welcoming the 9th day of the Lunar calendar. This is as big (or bigger) to them as Christmas to Christian, Chinese New Year to other Chinese, etc. This is the day they remember the day they survived the attempted extermination of their clan, and many generations will continue to celebrate it.

There was one point in ancient China's history when the Hokkiens were being hunted to the very brink of extinction. Men, women, children and the elderly were killed ruthlessly. As told my my mother, who heard it from her mother (who probably heard it from some Hokkien friend), the motive was to wiped the entire clan clean off the face of the Earth. There are variations of the story and I have heard two more over the radio broadcast. Some indicated the enemies as bloodthristy bandits, while others point to some official/royalty or another clan they have offended. Anyway, one day this pitiful group were being chased and were in despair. The end seemed near and they were desparate. Suddenly, they spotted a field of sugar canes. Without any other choice, they ran and hid amongst the sugar canes while their pursuers tried to weed them out for slaughter. Here, according to some, there was intervention (divine?) that warned the pursuers off and told them to leave these helpless people alone. Divine intervention or not, the Hokkiens hid within the sugar canes hoping to avoid brutal death. When they finally overcame their fear and felt it was safe to emerge from their hiding place, they discovered their enemies were gone and it was the 9th day of the lunar year. Needless to say, they rejoiced and thanked the Heavens for being spared.

Till this day, Hokkiens still make offerings of thanks and celebrate the joyous occasion. The humble sugar cane that was so vital for their survival is not forgotten. Every year, Hokkien families continue to have long rods of sugar canes tied together with decorative red cloth on their thanksgiving day.

To Hokkien decendants everywhere, enjoy your day. I am happy your clan has survived your horrific history. It shows will to live and prosper is indeed strong. Hooray!

To The Orient!

Today, I did two things of the Oriental theme. I watched ‘Memoirs Of A Geisha’ at night, and drew lots at a temple in the morning. The temple I am mentioning this time is not the one that I have visited for solace. This is the one that lives up to the images of temples people may cherish for this is a Chinese-styled one that sits on the slope of a hill.

I did my prayers for peace and the averting of suffering for as many as possible. I told of my wish for all pain and suffering to be eliminated, but knew it to be impossible. Through pain and suffering, we learn and grow, the weak become strong, people alter paths, and the world changes. Still, I prayed for the lessons to be less difficult to bear. May less people die for a leader to realise his mistakes, may pain not reach the extreme before people know the need to reform, and may tears flow in milder volumes before people learn to be resilient and worthy enough to claim victories. With the good, comes the bad, unless you wish to have no part in any of it.

After completing my prayers, I drew lots. It is a rather Chinese thing (*nay, people from several religions in the Orient practice it as well) to do to answer one’s queries. I suppose it may be liken to studying astrology, reading tea leaves, tarot cards… or perhaps the Ouija board and crystal ball? Only one question per lot and you have to verify that the lot that does pop up in front of you is truly an answer for you by consulting the result of two halves of a crescent-shaped thing. (I recommend trying it out for yourselves.) I repeated the actions I observed from young lady who knelt beside me for she seemed experienced.

When I got my lot, my mother asked me what I ask about. “My career,” I replied, for nothing mattered more with regards to my means of sustaining my body and spirit. On the practical side, it does put food on the table, and my dreams keep me going when I would have just murdered myself or go devote myself to some peace corp in a war-struck zone and fulfill that part of my dreams. The career thing seemed to be ok.

My mother was curious with regards to marriage. I knelt down again for another lot and another answer. In my heart, I asked about love rather than marriage. What is love without marriage? Many lovers can tell you that there is the bittersweet bliss of knowing the person you love loves/loved you. What about marriage without love? Trading sex and smiles for food and shelter… and some amount of security. I am by no means opposed to marriage (quite the contrary), but I do not feel the difference a piece of nice paper will do for people who love each other or for people who do not. Everyone should do it for the alimony if for nothing else. (I knew someone who broke up with her boyfriend of 9 years and had to move out of the house they shared with only ‘her’ stuff. When they revoke your claim on their love, at least leave with something to keep you going rather than having to accept charities from friends or family. I would suggest money.)

I digress as I often do. Well, the story goes that I got a good lot apparently. I am hesitant about feeling pleased about it for my love will come from my past rather than from a mysterious stranger that I shall meet in the future, provided I shall take the initiative to encourage him. My past is my past and I tend to keep it that way. Who would emerge from my past to take hold of such a position in my life? I guess there goes any hope of meeting someone new and finding out he’s the one for me. Shucks!

My mind is blank and I cannot think of whom to encourage from my past. I have only moved to this place for only a year plus a few days. (How far back in the past?) Faces I see are usually fairly new. On top of that, I am a numbskull when it comes to symptoms of possibilities. I swear I really don’t know when people are interested in me. If anyone requires encouragement, let me know. I shall try to understand what form of encouragement is needed… with some help, preferably.

Really no interesting mysterious stranger in my future? That's a bit hard to believe... it one believes such things, that is.

Recollections

This was written and stored on my computer a few days ago but I did not have the time to make a post until now...

I went out with my family and my cousin’s family for dinner and post-dinner entertainment. It was fun. I met her boyfriend for the first time today because I have not been in town for months, and have not met her for over a year.

I freely admit to envying her good fortune in finding such a guy for I have heard from my grandmother that he is accompanying her and her family to Australia for a week to see her settle in. (My cousin has resigned from her interior designing job and is about to pursue two more years of undergraduate study to get a degree. She has finished brilliantly in a prominent design institution in Singapore but the family thought having a degree would be better.) I recognised him outside the restaurant without difficulty and found him very personable and agreeable, albeit a bit shy. I have the benefit of examining his appearance in my cousin’s photo with him in his very dashing uniform. He never saw me before in his life and probably didn’t know what to expect, so I guess he stayed on the safe side, i.e. courteous and formal.

To get the conversation started, he initially asked my cousin to find out how many days of annual leave my company (in the private sector) gives me, and informs me that he gets 21 days per year (I know... Wow!) in the Air Force. I thought it best not to mention that I knew this. Some years ago I went out on a date with an Air Force guy. Unfortunately, he was much sleazier, less pleasing, and talked mostly of his superiors and night flying. I stopped replying to his very pointed and suggestive messages and have since forgotten his name but not the information he provided. (I remember useful information and the name thing wasn’t done on purpose. I really just cannot remember.) I was glad towards the end of the evening we were all at ease and having a good time drinking and dancing till late... or early.

I glanced at my cousin at some point during the evening and was envious of her having someone who cared for her, who wanted to go along with her on her first week to ensure she was okay. Memories of my trip to university, and the subsequent stay, came to my mind in quick succession, and thoughts of my cousin ceased. Gradually, they were completely replaced.

I did not go to university alone either, and I was not without people who cared for me and assisted me when I required assistance. Memories of a good friend came to mind… one person who I didn’t realise made a difference to (and ‘cushioned’) my uni life until he was no longer around. There was someone who sat beside me on the long plane trip and subsequent long bus ride. He lent me notes and experiment results because I tend to screw mine up. He was a straight A’s and First Class person. My playfulness and lack of attention were somewhat kept in check when I observed his steadfastness in getting good understanding and results. I used to joke that he was a very good personal assistant - reminding me of meeting times, when and what to submit for our course or otherwise, providing very good notes, etc. At some point I did also envy his popularity with other people while I had a smaller group of friends…

But, he made time for me when I required it, let me copy results of time-consuming calculations he has done because I was less than attentive in class, let me sit on his bed and complain about my problems, knocked on my door and asked what was wrong as I cried on the other side of it, included me in gatherings I was not invited to because I was not as close to the organisers, and generally gave me someone to turn to. All this was not realised until I was doing my Masters with a whole new group of people and he had left to start working elsewhere. I didn’t realise how bereft I was until troubles accumulated and I found no outlet for expressing them. Oh, I felt his value very acutely then!

However, years have passed and we all eventually have to learn to stand alone. We still keep in touch and can still understand each other very easily even though we have differing interests and personalities, with lives heading in different directions.

Sounds from bits of past conversations echoed through my head during the drive home…

“Do you like her? If you do, I can get her for you.” “No.” “Really? Be honest! I can.” “No.”

“Which do you think suits me better? This EDT or that?” “Hmm… this.” “My friend said that one is more ‘man’” “Maybe, but I think this is better.”

“I am not being vain, but I think there is someone on our course who likes me.” “Who?” “If you have not sensed it, then I won’t tell you.” “Who?”

"You're the best, most wonderful, best-looking, always friendly, forever brilliant..." "OK, what do you want?"