Recollections

This was written and stored on my computer a few days ago but I did not have the time to make a post until now...

I went out with my family and my cousin’s family for dinner and post-dinner entertainment. It was fun. I met her boyfriend for the first time today because I have not been in town for months, and have not met her for over a year.

I freely admit to envying her good fortune in finding such a guy for I have heard from my grandmother that he is accompanying her and her family to Australia for a week to see her settle in. (My cousin has resigned from her interior designing job and is about to pursue two more years of undergraduate study to get a degree. She has finished brilliantly in a prominent design institution in Singapore but the family thought having a degree would be better.) I recognised him outside the restaurant without difficulty and found him very personable and agreeable, albeit a bit shy. I have the benefit of examining his appearance in my cousin’s photo with him in his very dashing uniform. He never saw me before in his life and probably didn’t know what to expect, so I guess he stayed on the safe side, i.e. courteous and formal.

To get the conversation started, he initially asked my cousin to find out how many days of annual leave my company (in the private sector) gives me, and informs me that he gets 21 days per year (I know... Wow!) in the Air Force. I thought it best not to mention that I knew this. Some years ago I went out on a date with an Air Force guy. Unfortunately, he was much sleazier, less pleasing, and talked mostly of his superiors and night flying. I stopped replying to his very pointed and suggestive messages and have since forgotten his name but not the information he provided. (I remember useful information and the name thing wasn’t done on purpose. I really just cannot remember.) I was glad towards the end of the evening we were all at ease and having a good time drinking and dancing till late... or early.

I glanced at my cousin at some point during the evening and was envious of her having someone who cared for her, who wanted to go along with her on her first week to ensure she was okay. Memories of my trip to university, and the subsequent stay, came to my mind in quick succession, and thoughts of my cousin ceased. Gradually, they were completely replaced.

I did not go to university alone either, and I was not without people who cared for me and assisted me when I required assistance. Memories of a good friend came to mind… one person who I didn’t realise made a difference to (and ‘cushioned’) my uni life until he was no longer around. There was someone who sat beside me on the long plane trip and subsequent long bus ride. He lent me notes and experiment results because I tend to screw mine up. He was a straight A’s and First Class person. My playfulness and lack of attention were somewhat kept in check when I observed his steadfastness in getting good understanding and results. I used to joke that he was a very good personal assistant - reminding me of meeting times, when and what to submit for our course or otherwise, providing very good notes, etc. At some point I did also envy his popularity with other people while I had a smaller group of friends…

But, he made time for me when I required it, let me copy results of time-consuming calculations he has done because I was less than attentive in class, let me sit on his bed and complain about my problems, knocked on my door and asked what was wrong as I cried on the other side of it, included me in gatherings I was not invited to because I was not as close to the organisers, and generally gave me someone to turn to. All this was not realised until I was doing my Masters with a whole new group of people and he had left to start working elsewhere. I didn’t realise how bereft I was until troubles accumulated and I found no outlet for expressing them. Oh, I felt his value very acutely then!

However, years have passed and we all eventually have to learn to stand alone. We still keep in touch and can still understand each other very easily even though we have differing interests and personalities, with lives heading in different directions.

Sounds from bits of past conversations echoed through my head during the drive home…

“Do you like her? If you do, I can get her for you.” “No.” “Really? Be honest! I can.” “No.”

“Which do you think suits me better? This EDT or that?” “Hmm… this.” “My friend said that one is more ‘man’” “Maybe, but I think this is better.”

“I am not being vain, but I think there is someone on our course who likes me.” “Who?” “If you have not sensed it, then I won’t tell you.” “Who?”

"You're the best, most wonderful, best-looking, always friendly, forever brilliant..." "OK, what do you want?"